three cheers for three years

We're definitely the only dorks i know to celebrate a bestyversary.

easter confessions

Well, it's no secret now that I'll be arriving back at the ol' homestead about a week from now. I can literally feel the cracks dividing my little heart, breaking over leaving Sydney, seminary and, of course, Scott. I think that's just about all I need to say about that. (Except that I better invest in a more environmentally friendly form of tissues. The art of the handkerchief, like letterwriting, is dead. In the Easter spirit, I'm going to give it new life.)

Because I decided to leave a little ahead of schedule I feel like I've been scrambling to drink in as much Oz as possible. Scott and I totally broke the rules and took an Easter four-day weekend to the Gold Coast in Queensland. I realized on Easter at mid-day that it was the first time in my life that I hadn't gone to church on the holiday. (I also realized it was the first Easter where I didn't receive a basket filled with artificial grass) The weekend itself was glorious. We rode a few rollercoasters and toured the rainforest. Of course, back at our hotel at Surfers Paradise (the Waikiki of Australia) I couldn't help but be disturbed by the fact that Easter didn't even seem to exist. Except, of course, for the Easter sales going on everywhere. Because there's no better way to celebrate the most holy Christian holiday than by buying a plasma screen TV.

But, then again, who am I to talk? It doesn't get more indulgent than vacations to places with palm trees. And I did it over the Easter holiday. Yikes.

I guess this is where the real confession comes in. Predictably, I take offense to the mass commercialization of Easter. The Easter bunny may just offend me more than Santa (though it is a close race.) And I will also admit that a holiday on the holiday is a bit in bad taste. But the strange truth is, I do not feel that my faith suffered. In fact, inadvertently boycotting tradition taught me a little about how I really feel about the whole Easter thing (and worship in general.)

Over the last few months I have come to realize that I am not a plug-in Christian. Come Sunday morning service, mid-week bible study, or annual holiday observance I can never expect to walk into church and just get charged up by the Holy Spirit. My moments with God are highly sought after and more like jewels than grains of sand. While mine fill the palm of my hand it seems many of my fellow Christians could store theirs on a private beach.

Don't get me wrong. I love worship and the fellowship of others. It is soothing and affirming in all the right ways. Yet, I find it hard to mean it as my lips form the liturgy. In moments of silence I fumble to find prayer and end up starting mine just as the pastor begins to speak. "Dear Lord...um...please..." I usually try desperately to remember all the people in my life who are sick or in turmoil and then scramble to remember those suffering around the world, always feeling guilty because someone is left out. And just as I begin to apologize (because "repenting" and "confessing" are too graceful words for what I'm doing in my prayers) for all the stuff I've messed up on in recent history I get cut off by responsive reading or a hymn. The sermon is usually my strong suit. Given the preacher is smart and searing. Otherwise I fight to keep my mind off grocery shopping or my cuticles. And if communion is involved the best I can do is try to focus my mind like a laser beam on the idea that my thimble of juice is Christ's blood. But I usually am more self conscious about looking like an idiot it in front of the person serving me and muttering, "Christ's blood shed for you" or something similarly somber.

As I said. I love worship. But I can definitely recognize that I go to church, not to hang out with God, but his kids. Certainly, there are many Sundays where I receive a new gem for my collection. A glistening moment with God that I will pull out and admire many times in the future. Yet, I am soothed and affirmed, not through connections to unison confessions or prayer by rote but the warm handshakes, hugs, and smiles that I am offered during the passing of the peace or the post-service coffee. (All this is quite in keeping with JC's insight in John 13:34-35, "Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.")

So despite loving worship I certainly struggle with it. And I struggle with Easter and Christmas, too. Because, though fellowship is vital to faith and certainly worth the trip to church, I fail to "plug in" to the Holy Spirit as I mentioned before. The most sincere prayer I tend to offer is one where I admit my constant failure to make my worship sincere.

Christmas is a bit easier than Easter. It is a joyful and relatively uncomplicated celebration. The star of the Bible is born and we get to throw a big party. Add in the perks of Western living like Bing Crosby albums and big family feasts and it is easy to bring a general sense of exalting to the singing of "Joy to the World" on Christmas Eve. When trumpets are involved, the hard part is done for you. But Easter is emotionally complex. A week before we wave palms and imagine a Fabio-like Jesus Christ trotting into Jerusalem on a donkey. Then the tone gets dark very quickly and we are led through a series of intense scriptural passages. The loaves and fishes of a few chapters back fade in our minds and the blood and flesh of Jesus appears on the table. The disciples disappoint us. The Jews dismay us. And then Jesus dies for us. Two days later, on Easter Sunday we trade grief for gladness because the tomb is empty. But because we've all heard this story before, the whole experience is shadowed by the enormity of the event. This is it, folks. The crux of our faith!

And I can no more at Easter than any other Sunday of the year, summon those coveted moments with God. In fact, Easter might be a contender for my worst Sunday at all. The week leading up to the resurrection is so exhausting and confusing. (Even Jesus' disciples were confused. Jesus tried to explain that the hour was upon them, and they seemed to get more and more lost. And clearly Judas just gave up.) The truth is, I feel far more connected to Jesus' death (and life) the other 364 days of year than the day where it is expected of me. And, as I admire my collection of jewels, my rare and special moments of revelation, I realize I usually found them outside of the holy hours of Sunday morning. God usually surprises me at work or on the train or in my kitchen.

Taking a break from Easter showed me just how far I am from being a plug-in Christian. And perhaps this is less of a confession than an Easter prayer. I do not feel the need to repent but the urge to ask for intercession. Because I like meeting God in my bedroom or at the movies, but I think I'd like to be able to meet up with Him at church more often.

Dear Lord,
Where can I buy a really good power adapter? It seems my plug doesn't work in your house.



Amen.

you're invited

What: Presbyterian Conservation Corps Summer 2008 Eco-Stewardship Program

Where/When: Take your pick between Eco-Stewards West in Colorado and Missouri (May 31-June 12) or Eco-Stewards East in Pennsylvania and New York (June 4-15)

Who: College students and recent grads ages 18-24

How: Go to the website and apply by May 1, 2008


The Eco-Stewards program seeks to train and inspire young adults ages 18-24 in the ways of eco-stewardship within the wider context of our Christian faith. This includes training in Biblical and theological foundations for environmental stewardship and practical training in how to implement environmental and ecological stewardship projects. Such projects may include building composting toilets, solar hot water systems, micro hydro or micro wind systems, eco-designed structures, soil erosion controls, stream restoration projects, and composting systems. Following these trainings, Eco-Stewards will be sent with mentors to other PCCCA camps to share what they have learned with camps and churches.

blessed are the peacemakers

Reading the Bible (especially the Old Testament) it is easy to see why many Christians get confused about the issue of warfare. I read a blog by a pastor about the connection between using war vocab in worship and reading Scripture that makes biblical heroes out of the Israelites, while justifying warfare they invoke, and even warfare invoked against them.

Hmm...

Many Christians throw their hands in the air. Jesus says "Blessed are the peacemakers." And the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Yet, God watches Joshua's back as he leads the Israelites to overthrow Canaan and commit mass murder. Later, when Israel doesn't behave itself, God empowers its enemies to teach it a lesson through oppression and violence. As mini-Christians in Sunday School, we give three cheers for the victories of the "chosen people" and sweep the implications of their success under the rug. We learn about Christian virtues of peacemaking and tolerance while being subtly indoctrinated with the notion that war wasn't completely off limits. There were special cases. Remember the Israelites?

In middle school youth group, the most popular night of the year was the annual game of Romans and Christians. I grew up in a Midwest mega-church. The youth had the run of the entire church basement, which was the size of a small high school, with classrooms, music and rehearsal rooms, a library, offices, and a huge youth wing complete with its own kitchen. On the night of Romans and Christians, the middle school youth group had free reign over the entire space. It was the one night I could get my non-Christian school friends to come with me to youth group!

None of us eleven and twelve year old kids were thinking about the historical aspects of the game. We just knew that the "Bad Guys" were the Romans and the "Good Guys" were the Christians. The Romans (usually youth leaders and older kids) would hunt for hidden Christians (the kids) all over the bottom level of the church. If found the Christians would be captured and put into jail, whereupon the remaining freed Christians would try to find sneaky ways to break them out.

It sounds innocent enough, but it was merely an extension of our elementary cheers of victory for the heroes of the Bible. We didn't know any better so we rallied our victors. On the brink of adolescence our sense of patriotic-like Christian pride was further engrained with our "Good Guy" vs "Bad Guy" games and lessons.

This is right around the time I went from a twelve year old religious zealot to thirteen year old cynic. Adolescence was encroaching and I was just learning how good it felt to buck the system. Yet, there was truth in my cynicism. I bought a Teen Study Bible at the height of my youth group fervor and vowed to read it cover to cover. My first trouble was at the book of Leviticus. I ran into Sunday School waving my Bible and accosted the twenty-something youth leader with questions about why people with skin diseases were banished and if God hated me when I had my period. At home I was listening to the soundtrack to RENT (which had just debuted on Broadway) and learning about the issue of gay rights and AIDS in New York's East Village. At church I was told that gays were going to Hell and so were my friends that didn't believe in Jesus. I accepted these things as the standard Christian perspective and saw it as reason enough to buck the system.

So I can't tell you what happens in Phase 3 of the Christian confusion on warfare in the Bible. I should have gone to learn all the dirty tricks, but I was going through my obligatory teen religious rebellion. Of course, God waited for me while I was gone.

It wasn't until I actually got to seminary over ten years later that I discovered my cynicism was widely echoed by theologians throughout history. Perhaps instead of cynicism I should say skepticism. I am twenty-three now and as I read the Bible cover to cover again I remember my girlhood self flipping through Leviticus in tears over what all this meant my God was about. This time around it was the passages of Joshua and Judges that stirred me up. Instead of a youth pastor I waved my Bible at all the people I knew in ministry, asking "Did God really advocate genocide?" I remember elementary school and the lessons about Joshua and the Israelites marching around the walls of Jericho with their trumpets. There is a widely used Christian children's video, "Josh And The Big Wall" with cartoon vegetables re-enacting the scene to make kids laugh while they learn Scripture. But I am not a kid now and as I read Joshua I can't believe I spent so many years shouting, "Hip hip hooray!" for what was actually a bloody massacre and political overthrow.

Didn't I tell you at the beginning of this that it is easy for Christians to be confused about the issue of warfare? Well, I know because I am one! We are learning in Theology about how Christian faith is built upon revelation throughout history, specifically during the plight of the Israelites. God giving humankind insights about Godself. Yet, if many of the revelations we cite as foundational to the structure of our faith occurred in the context of warfare, what does that say about Christianity? This is further complicated by the fact that, though Jesus often advocated for peace, he also used violent, war-related terminology in some accounts.

All this goes to prove the notion that it is easy to justify any position with Scripture. A peace activist and a zealous soldier can both point to the Bible to defend their work.

I am thankful that this time, unlike my middle school Leviticus debacle, I was able to connect to resources that explored my questions. It seems that many a theologian has pondered the book of Joshua, among others. History and canonical formation open up the understanding of this part of the Bible to so many possibilities. But the thing that unlocked my personal understanding of the issue of warfare, was what I found to be a predominating Scriptural message.

Love your neighbor.

Your brother. Your sister. Your friend. Your enemy. Your whatever. Love them as yourself.

While war seeps through the pages of the Old Testament so does the notion that as Christians we are called to look after each other. (Especially the ones going through hard times. And the poor ones. And the widowed ones. And the orphaned ones. And the oppressed ones.) My neighbor, as pointed out in the story of the Good Samaritan, is not always my social ally. My neighbor is everyman. In other words, no man on earth is not my neighbor. I don't have all the solutions to my confusion and anger over the book of Joshua. Sometimes I still get a headache over Leviticus. But I try to focus on the things that are not confusing in the Bible. Like the parts about love, neighbors, and justice. Where does warfare fit into any of that?

Nowhere.

this one really smarts

Sometimes when I am in physical pain, I feel the need to keep constantly moving. If I have stubbed my toe I will walk in circles until the throbbing eases. If I have a muscle cramp I can twitch and bob for hours. I guess movement distracts me from a pain that can otherwise dominate the senses.

But once in a while, the pain is bigger than the sum of my twitches and bobs. There is nothing to do but to just lay as still as possible and feel the ache course through my body. I count the rhythm of the headache or the short stabs of a spasm and allow myself to just feel the pain.

It is always more painful than I want it to be. But it does seem more manageable, I guess. And there is comfort in simply handling the pain. I often prefer to do this while squeezing my eyes closed, though. (We all have our night lights.)

As for how this applies to my life right now? (It isn't a total non sequitir.)

Well, right now, twitching and bobbing is doing very little for me. And I'm feeling I might need to squeeze my eyes shut soon. Most likely on the flight home.





Ouuuuuuuuuuch.

mommy's little anarchist

Admittedly consumeristic.
(But sweatshop free!)

raw-chael rachael: the sequel

It's been a long week.

Seven days ago I made a commitment to do one week of raw food as a response to the excerpt from What The World Eats by Hungry Planet. Raw food, I reasoned, was less impactful on the environment in terms of processing, packaging, and transport. Furthermore, it saved all the carbon it would take to use my stove, oven, or microwave. Granted, I did employ my refrigerator. But that would have been on and in use any way! Finally, eating raw, I felt, helped me to practice solidarity with those not able to buy much more than fruits, veggies, and other raw items. (And as a bonus it served as an automatic diet, which I needed, and would save the resources I would have to expend to work off extra pounds.)

I promised a Hungry Planet style report, so here you go.


The Albers-Farlow Household of Sydney, Australia

Grains & Other Starchy Foods:
None, by choice.

Dairy:
None, by choice.

Meat, Fish & Eggs:
None, by choice.

Fruits, Vegetables & Nuts:
1 cabbage, 1 head of cauliflower, 2 heads of living lettuce, 4 red bell peppers, 2 onions, 1 head of celery, 1 bunch of basil, 1 bunch of coriander, 8 carrots, 1 cucumber, 1 zucchini, 6 chilis, 8 scallions, 6 radishes, 2 potatoes, 12 tomatoes, 6 avocadoes, 2 cups alfalfa sprouts, 4 apples, 6 kiwi, 12 nectarines, 8 apricots, 6 lemons, 8 bananas, 8 oranges, 1 pineapple, 1 cup walnuts, 1 cup sunflower seeds, 1 cup sesame seeds, 1 cup assorted nuts

Condiments:
1 cup olive oil, 1/2 cup flax oil, 5 garlic cloves, 1 Tbsp sea salt, 2 Tbsp pure maple syrup, 2 tsp vanilla extract, 1 tsp dried onion, 1 tsp dried chili, 1 tsp dried garlic, 1 tsp cumin

Beverages:
Filtered water

Food Expenditure for One Week: $110 Australian Dollars (Roughly $102 American Dollars)

This $110 probably represents $70 for me and $40 for Scott, my handsome Aussie roomie/love interest. He did not go 100% raw for the week. However, I did not eat away out at all (I can make your garden variety take out salad myself any day.)

My menu included:


Veggie "Casserole"

Romaine Burritos with Guacamole and Lemon-Garlic Vinaigrette

Salsa Salad

Banana Ice Cream

It certainly was an experience. I felt very healthy, energetic and light. Sometimes, however, that lightness ended up being the problem. It was hard to feel full and I found myself nearly prying myself away from the crackers I have in the cupboard. Don't worry, I didn't relent. (Unless you count cutting my 7 days about 8 hours short to have lunch at a fabulous little veggie restaurant in the Blue Mountains. In that case, guilty as charged.)

I know now that I won't be going all raw anytime soon, though I have realized I've been on carb overkill. So I resolve to fill up on less bread and more greens, keep my processed foods to a minimum, and resolve my salad prejudice problem. (Salads bore me.) Doing this will be better for my body and the environment, especially when I splurge on organic, which unfortunately is hard to afford on a budget despite it's importance. Slowly but surely I hope to wean myself off of any food coming out of a box or a bag. That's a little creepy anyway.

Yes, my raw week was definitely worth it. If only for three little words. Banana Ice Cream. Banana, vanilla, cinnamon. (Toss on a little maple syrup and you'll swear it's caramel.) Guiltless perfection. Email me for the recipe!

raw-chael rachael

This week the head of the eco-justice committee at my church in Chicago sent out an email forward with the headline "What the World Eats" and fifteen photos of families with their week's food.


Check it out.

I did a little digging and found out that it was from the new Hungry Planet book What the World Eats. The book features 30 different families from all over the world and photographs them with their weekly groceries, including for the reader a list of the ingredients and the total cost. I'm sure if you're cool enough to click and see you will be as fascinated as I was.

The thing that immediately struck me was the amount of processed foods and familiar American brands throughout the developed world. Of course the American family predictably takes the cake (and eats it!) of processed, microwavable, anti-food. Yet many other countries are represented by families eating two or three families' worth of packaged, starchy calories.

Of course, that realization collided with the amount of produce present in Egyptian, Peruvian and South Asian households. Most American (and Australian) families would balk at concocting entire meals out of purely produce, beans, and grain. But many, many, many people around the world do it: most out of necessity.

During my tireless internet search to find the origin of the article I ran across several blogs and editorials on the Hungry Planet piece and many of them focused on the theme of, "Count your blessings!" I understand that sentiment and certainly try to count my myriad of blessings every day but what I felt after reading this wasn't so much my own fortune, but the urge to change my habits. The most striking of all the families is the Sudanese; the photo bears a mother and her five smiling children behind their weekly ration of sorghum and soy-corn blend, several handfuls of fruits and vegetables, a few spices, and water. Meanwhile, a family of four in Germany consumes $400 of food per week, including (but certainly not limited to) 5 loaves of bread, 15 pounds of meat and $66 worth of frozen and prepared food. Does the family in Sudan really need me to "count my blessings" or is there, perhaps, a better response?

Gluttony (an ugly but appropriate word) does not only refer to obvious cases. The German family of four is not overweight and, at first glance, wouldn't raise an eyebrow in terms of its consumption. Yet, their 5 loaves of bread, 15 pounds of meat, and $66 worth of frozen and prepared food (not to mention the rough 7.5 gallons of fruit juice, soda, beer and wine) is clearly more than they need.

And while the German family shown looked fairly healthy, but not overweight, the sad fact is that, with diets like theirs (and worse), millions of families now exist who are overweight, even obsese. When I thought about the issue from the angle this article gave me, I began to see how wasteful a gluttinous diet really is. Much of the food, money, and resources going into their weekly diet would be going straight down the toilet. Literally. The problem is that western societies are eating themselves silly and then spending more time, money, and resources to work off the calories they are overeating. There are millions of dollars to be made off of weight-obsessed women, who will gossip about the new diet craze and read every magazine article about the perfect jean for their body type.

Meanwhile, that Sudanese family is still living off of less than $1.50 worth of food per day. That Sudanese mom could care less about the perfect jeans for her A-frame. What she needs is a recipe book for all the diverse ways one can mix sorghum, soy-corn blend, and some limes.

How can we justify this excessiveness?

Not to mention the resources that are poured into our indulgences and then the resources poured into weaning ourselves off of our indulgences. How can any country be a good global citizen until it considers how it is affecting the rest of the world and it's people? Green is trendy right now, but truly, how can any country claim to "green" itself if it fails to consider how much over-consumption, even in its diets, affects the world in too many ways? While there are always going to be political and economic hurdles to jump before solving the problems of families like the Sudanese, the problem will not get solved amidst the continuous gluttony of the transgressing societies.

And so I looked down at my own little belly that I have grown here in Australia over the last few months. I realized I had gobbled down a good amount of garbage myself. I am a vegan because of my response to the environmental issue, but I had failed to see I was still leaving a trail behind me, despite my little green upgrade in lifestyle. I'm still a glut for carbs. (Aren't we all?) Bread, cookies, chips, crackers. The lifeblood of vegan junk food. Even though I had switched to organic and whole grains, I know I still eat more than I need. Gelato. Baked goods. Strongbow. The processed foods, though oftentimes so delicious, are also often a waste because they are the extra unnecessary part of our diet. Grains, of course, are important. But do I need bread, cookies, chips, and crackers in my cabinet at all times? Furthermore, though I was eating tons of produce as well, I certainly wasn't eating double my share of grains, which is really the goal. I considered the Peruvian family and their array of fruits and veggies and a lightbulb appeared above my head.

As my response to this article, I am challenging myself to limit my consumption and not overeat or rely on processed foods. What a perfect time, I decided, to toast to veggies, and try the raw diet.

So for the next week (starting today) I am going completely raw every day. That means nothing can be cooked over 120 degrees F. It focuses on raw fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, sprouted grains, and can include raw meat, fish, and dairy, though I certainly won't be setting foot anywhere near there. It is a challenge but it will be the best response I can give to that article. Eating raw will limit the energy used in heating and preparing food on a stove, in an oven, or a microwave. Eating raw will limit the packaging and resources expended in processed foods that come in bags, boxes, and plastic. Eating raw will be the best for my body, keeping me healthy so less energy and resources are expended on diets and weight loss. I will take pictures of my interesting meals and report back to you Hungry Planet-style at the end of the week.

Anyone want to join me?

Bon appetit!